Kiddushin
My friend had his wedding ceremony this past weekend. The name of the location was a little bit questionable but the facilities itself were nice. It was an intimate affair and a traditional Jewish wedding. But I had a feeling of guilt when I was there. I thinking about myself and not how lucky and happy I'm for my friend. The whole night I was thinking about my ex-girlfriend. So, I guess that she is not out of my system.
I was thinking about how she was "suppose" to be there. I thought back to a wedding when we were together. The wedding was in Mexico; Beautiful surroundings, traditional Catholic ceremony and my loving girlfriend squeezing my hand. I missed her. Missed her communicating that could be us up there; and knowing she was excited about that. That was not the case this time around...
There was moment that I observed between my good friends that got married about year ago. I was sitting right next to them. In the middle of the ceremony he reached out for her hand. She turned to him and smiled. In that moment, they reminded themselves about there love and there commitment to one another. I was jealous.... maybe envious would be a better word for it.
The girl I love but who does not love me was in a far off place and was in the process of forgetting me, if she has not done so already.
I was thinking about how she was "suppose" to be there. I thought back to a wedding when we were together. The wedding was in Mexico; Beautiful surroundings, traditional Catholic ceremony and my loving girlfriend squeezing my hand. I missed her. Missed her communicating that could be us up there; and knowing she was excited about that. That was not the case this time around...
There was moment that I observed between my good friends that got married about year ago. I was sitting right next to them. In the middle of the ceremony he reached out for her hand. She turned to him and smiled. In that moment, they reminded themselves about there love and there commitment to one another. I was jealous.... maybe envious would be a better word for it.
The girl I love but who does not love me was in a far off place and was in the process of forgetting me, if she has not done so already.
posted by djspeak at 11:16 AM
3 Comments:
How long has it been since the break-up? I've felt the exact same way before, it's the hardest thing to get over. Even now after 3 years of no longer speaking to my x, I still think about him too often. I wonder what might have been, and what he's doing right now. I wonder if I could have done something different, and would we still be together if I had. I have faith that it was meant to be, and that there is someone else out there for me. The hardest part is not knowing...
We have been broke up for about 7 months.
I hoping that she will leave my regular thought patterns by now. But she still haunts me in a sense. When we were together, I told her that she bewitched me. I do not know if it was love, her or the combination of the two that did the witching...
It is nice to know, I'm not the only one.
btw, I enjoyed reading your blog.
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