Prayed for!!

We stood in a circle
  my mother was there
  my father was there
  my sister was there
  my uncle was there
  my aunt was there
  my nephews were there

We bend our necks, closed our eyes, lowered our heads
   And my Grandmother spoke... 

But in these next few minutes... I knew what was said. 
Not because I was able to parse the words ...

Our mother tongues are different... she spoke in her tongue.
   And in this language, 
      I can only greet you,
         and may be ask if you would like more Tea

But I could feel her pleading with God... 
Making her case on why the Lord should shower me with his blessing.

I felt what hopes she has for me... 
I felt what dreams she has for me... 
I felt the love that she has for me... 

In this moment I remembered that
   I'm a living moment for all those that came before
        and I will be template for those follow.

In that moment... although I do not speak... I understood.

Maybe a prayer was answered.

Nothing to say....

Have you have had those spells... where you believe that your voice is gone? These spells seems to be long the older I get. And when I do have something to say... it does seem to have the same punch as it did in my yesteryears.

I think the things that are on my brain are least interesting to the world... but rather personal to me. As if, some of my thoughts are not personal. I'm thinking about mortgage, career advancement, my image and will my friends children survive the protection that my friends have put up around them.

I miss thoughts about the purpose, the quest, the pain of love.... I seem to have made up my mind of what it is for. And what role love will play in my life.

I miss my thoughts about the purpose, the utility and the nature of violences.... I seem to have made up my mind on that

I miss my thoughts on what is to be good, in this world, in country and within me ... I seem to have made up mind on that

I miss my thoughts on the nature of politics, tho I'm young, it seems like I have seen those seemly pointless endeavors.

So, I sit quietly, listening to people younger that me ... ask the questions that I once asked of myself. Seeing if the answers that they come up with; comfort them, anger them and sometime beat them.

For I have nothing to say....

White only swimming...yup! Still... in 2009

This hard to believe in today America. But yup... racism is still alive... and they are not even concealing it!

Black Folks and indoor tanning booths

We were talking about the terrible weather in Boston this summer session. The sun has barley been out. We all talking about why our mood maybe affected. So were we were talking about going to a tanning salon. Make some vitamin D, get some sun in anyway we can.

I was thinking that it would be hilarious me walking into a tanning salon looking for service. But when I did a search on the inter web and the inter nets... I learned that some black folk tan in tanning salons. And I thought I was going to be a first. I also learned that some black folks were looking on for spray tanning products. Man...

Fiction: Femi..

It wasn't his failure but somehow it was his responiblity.

Walking in to this location was not Femi's first option. Walking in knowing what he knows is simply dangerous. He has people to protect: two daugthers and two sons. What if this thing goes sideways.

Femi does an equiment check.

knife. check.
rope. check.
gun. check.
40 thousands dollars in cash
check.
80 thousand in pounds check.
100 thousand in hong kong dollars
check.

He knows that Brother Ade is going to be there. People just call him the Oga of Ogas. It is unclear how Brother Ade amassed his wealth. So people say that he made his money in the East. They say he was the man that they oil companies would call if they need landed to clear of the people for it's oil lines. Cleared of people that is. Other people say that is traffiking girls from north. Making them do unspeakable things in dark rooms with men that are willing to unleash their dark passion from there dark souls. But truth be told many things are said, no ones know which are true and which are stories. But Femi know this, he can walk in and he may not walk out.

Doing business in the middle of an African night, no one will find till morning. Because unlike what Femi grew up with, street lights at every corner, a corner store not being to far off. In the streets of Lagos, that is simply not the case. The moment his car light turned off. It was black. Pitch black.

He walks to gate. But there is no security out front. No seccurity behind the gate. The gate is ajar. No light on the buliding. He thought it would be motion detection lights but still pitch black. He makes it to the door in eerie silient. He walks thru masion having to turn on lights. No one there. He makes his way upstairs. He finds the Oga's office. But on the chair, he finds a box. On the box it says "Play me". He see an ipod docked with a speaker set. He plays it...

Oga... your time has come.
I believe I'm doing God's works by wiping you off
the planet.
For your heart is inked black.
For your soul is to corrupt.

To save thousands more and avenge the thousands more you have taken
I will guide you to St. Peter.... he can judge you.

God speed. Oga!

Femi is opens the box and see a bomb. FUCK!! 58 seconds till it blows. He looks across the office and thru the window he see a palm tree next to the house. He runs full speed to crash thru the window. Because hell that always works in movie. Femi crashes into the window and bounces back and falls on this ass. Femi know thats this is his only way not. He back up, pulls out his gun and shoot the window several times. He tries again. This time he land on the palm tree. He is have trouble holding on. He is slippig down the town. And then the bombs goes off... and then he on this back on the ground... what the hell???

Ken and Barbie

I know that what I want. I know what I have to do get. But it's against my nature to do what I have to do ... to have it. I want to love the girl... but I know it is best just to love the moments. The question is... do I want the girl.. or do i want a girl. I know that is it only an article that separates them... "a" versus "the". For "the" girl is replaceable and interchangeable but the "a" girl may not be."The" girl is the girl Barbie, a woman that all your boys see, and give you that dap with a quick glance at you, and then their eyes quickly track to her behind. And it's easy, sort of, to get her. Because all you have to do is be a Ken. Ken is only charming in short periods of time. He is aloof because Barbie is not his only interest. He makes her, Barbie that is, compete for his attention. She thinks that she hates this about him, but in secret this is what is keeping her around. For in a life a woman test seems to be what she can control,own and show off as material. Ken is no different, just a little bit more interesting, to control. And the second that Ken let that happens, Barbie wins and they are done. "A" girl is not a Barbie. She seems to be with you for because she believe the two of you and be a unit; can be like one heart beat in two bodies. "A" girl and "the" girl both believe in love. Love just means two different things to them.

The question for me is... do I want to be a Ken?

HBO and there No. 1 Ladies'

OK. It is a known fact that HBO puts out quality programming. But I have to tip my hat to them with the series "The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency". This one of the few examples that I can think of that a western media(movie/television) outlet is telling a story in Africa about Africans with the lack of traditional western African stereotypes. The western media did have a long history of using Africa as an exotic location to tell stories of western people. This series is another example of this mode of thinking dying.

Besides the show, the stories, the acting, and the production being first rate. I like that it will give people a sense of modern day African life. When I was young and when I would tell my schoolmates that I was African. I remember some of them would as me... so how did you get here. Me being only in grade school, I would say that my father paddled us here across the Atlantic Ocean and had to fight off sharks. I would say my father is very strong. Many of them would believe me. For them, the idea that I come in a plane was unfathomable until I put the thought in there mind.

I dont think young American childern have that old silly thought on Africa in there head an more.

Groove of Life

On a daily basis, we come up against what we want, what we need and what we wish for. We choose moment to moment what our lives will be. How it will be shaped. Who will shape it. But at time, no, most of the time does it not feel like these choices have been made. There is a groove to life and we have a choice to buck it or follow it. The funny thing is that at any moment you can choose to follow the grove or buck: love the grove of life or fuck the grove of life.

Sometime it is not clear what you are choose. You think that what you are doing is novel or at least it is the right thing for you. But when you turn there, there is someone doing what you are doing or doing what you plan to do. And then somewhere, somehow, or even not in your conscious mind, you think is this what I want.

There have been few times when that the answer has been clear. What fuck should I do when it is not??

This is part of the reason I have faith. Faith in what I'm doing, what I'm choosing is the right and/or best thing for me.

Good moments in bad places

I know that she is not a good girl. I know she is not a good girl for me. But there was something...

No one that knows her would describe her as sweet girl. She does not give you that warm feeling. But I can say this...

She kissed me sweetly... In that moment when we shared breath, I think I tasted a bit of her soul. I know that it sounds silly. Maybe it is silly, but there was something there. Something more that my lips touching hers.