Thinking about advertising

I feel like I'm on a fear factor type of show with the host standing over me saying; "You have 60 seconds to convince me that I should drop my panties for you, let down my emotional defense system and know I can bring you around my friends without you being a fool." My response would be me staring blankly for the first 20 seconds saying, "AH... AH". I know what I want to say... the question is how.

Wish I could say...

I want to be bewitched by my ideal woman. Bewitched because she has to capture all of my senses and render them useless. Mind, body & soul in unison saying, "YES", this is the woman for you. Think back to one of the old cartoons, Tex Avery, his heart would jump out of his chest, his eyes would sketch -- so he take it all in and his body would tilt at a 45 degree angle; that is what I want to feel. Do you think you can charm me... bewitch me... cast a spell on me. If you can do that... all of your others details are not relevant. If you are this woman, press the reply button.

The tame version...

Hi... This is the part of the profile that I string together a list of adjectives like..generous, caring, adventurous, easy-going,etc. It's true that I'm those things. And I would love to find those qualities with someone, and maybe we can spend summer evenings hanging out. Be it at Walden pond with a full moon, or a great spot that overlooks the city were we can use the stars as our own private light show. But let me tell a story from my younger days...

Back in the day, I loved Eddie Murphy. I saw Coming to America and loved it. (who doesn't???) A couple of years later I was in 8th grade. I asked just about every girl in my 8th grade class to marry me. I told them I had to get married before my 15th birthday, otherwise I would lose my right to my throne in Nigeria. I promised them riches and comfort. I told them I could make them a Queen. I don't know why I did this...but it was fun and funny. I loved seeings the look or their faces. You can see the thought,"Is he serious???". And they would always smile, no matter what their response was. Some of the girls asked me to call their parents because their parents did not believe them when they told them. I got some yeses... And I talked to a couple of fathers. You would get down with a prince, right? :) Many things changes but some things remain the same.

"Go on honey, do it", reply...

So... How did I do?