The Nigerian eBay: Picking a Wife
My Mother calls me the other day and asks me if I would like to go to
Let me tell you a story that happened to me this past Christmas. Some of my family members are starting to press me on the marriage issue. This is important to keep in mind.
I’m over my Aunties’ house (my mother’s best friend from college) waiting for my cousins and sister so that we can head to the city. My Auntie takes this opportunity to corner me about my relationship choices.
She tells me that I’m a good looking man, with big shoulders; I should have no trouble attracting a pretty Nigerian girl or at least a Nigerian-American girl like me. She stresses that picking a partner is one of the most important decisions I will make in my life. With the right wife, life will be easy, good and lovely. She tells me that I should consider the way we do things back “home.”
The method back “home,” to the best of my understanding, has a little more family involvement. It seems quasi-arranged. Families will make introductions type thing. She tells me about one of her relatives that found his wife in the more traditional way. She described it in detail for me.
It seemed like eBay to me. She told me, how it would play out for me if I did it. They would have a little party for me, inviting only women that would be “well-suited” for me. I would sit in the parlor, and see which woman at the party have I taken a liking too. Tell the appropriate family member that is playing matchmaker and then you have a wife. That is what she told me…
This is what I heard…
It would be like picking a wife on eBay. I would sit in the parlor and ask each girl to come out. I’ll have her vital information in front of me. I’ll be able to ask them to change outfits, if I like. I would like to see them in there evening wear, Nigerian formal and of course, their swim wear. If I don’t like what I see…NEXT!!! Hmmmm…. Nigerian eBay….
I think that my mother is going to try to get me to participate in Nigerian eBay, if I go in December.
Should I go?
posted by djspeak at 8:34 PM
2 Comments:
Western feminists shudder....and are at the same time curious.... We by no means have a lock on what is modern and what is not, or moral, or traditional, or right, or equal....but my feminism was securely welded to my brain and so it's hard to understand how one could stomach that kind of setup. That said, it would be kind of like your very own Truman Show. :)
I was thinking to do more of a FOX style thing... a la American Idol. I don't know... Nigerian American Wife... your calls will decide. How djspeak wedds...
I'm sure the western feminists would love that!!
But jokes aside... They reason that I have not shudder about my Aunt's story, and I didn't highlight when I told mine, is that both parties have choice. Yeah their is a "courting" point. But at the end of the day, if the two are to be wed. She must choose him as well... it's not as one sided as I made it sound.
West or East, Developing nation or not, marriage is about two people of choosing one another.
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